I have done something that I feel that one thing every red-blooded man must do at least once in his life. That's right, I've been to a strip bar. Not just one strip bar, but two. Those of you who have complained about my putting sexual material into my posts in the past, stop HERE, and wait for me to blog another day about something that is less ... saucy.
A couple of weeks ago, as of time of writing, I got together with my friends earlier that night, to go cruising bars and clubs for the thing that we young men come out at night for - girls (food doesn't really count)! It being a cold, nasty night, there was nothing good there, although we did hit it off with some nice girls at Mansions. I talked to this pair at the bar, and then went with my friends to take a seat at a table near a group of other people. It turns out that the group was with the girls my friend and I talked to at the bar! What a weird coincidence ^_^
Anyways, we sit there, drinking a couple of jugs of beer between the three of us, chatting about stuff ranging from fat chicks to how to pick up girls to Muay Thai. This girl wants to shift pass myself and my friend Ben, who makes her do something like shake his hand or something to get past. Later on, that group decide they wanna bounce and go somewhere else, and when the girl goes to move, Ben tries to get her to thumb-wrestle him first. To that, her (we later found out) boyfriend just sort of looks at and then away from Ben, going "Mo~ve!"
We laugh about that later on.
The rest of the night is pretty dead, so as a last resort, we decide to hit a strip bar. We go to Club 108, where one of the guys at the door tries to rip us off five bucks, but the bouncer was nice enough to let us in for free. Inside, it looked different to what I had imagined a strip bar to be. There was a "paying customers" lounge where guys who had bought tickets from girls got a lap-dance on the small stage. The girls would wander amongst the (sleazy) clientele, offering lap dances to them, and seeing who would bite. After being there maybe ten, fifteen minutes, it got boring, so we headed out and across the street to the Crazy Horse Revue - perhaps the most famous strip bar in Adelaide.
This place seemed a lot more upmarket than Club 108 - the bouncer let us get in with a discount, and the place was more like the traditional strip bar you see in movies. There was a runway/catwalk thingy like in fashion shows, complete with poles and a bathroom piece at the end with sprinklers, and the strippers would dance and perform along there. Of course, the ones not on stage duty would wander amongst the customers, offering table or lap dances ($30 a table-dance, $60 a private lap dance, for those who are curious). We stayed and watched a few shows, interspersed with watching different girls performing at the pole behind us.
The last two girls that we saw before we left stayed in my head. The first one did her act to ... get this - sci-fi tunes! I'm serious ... she was stripping to the Star Wars theme, Star Trek theme, the Jetsons theme, and the parody Star Trekkers song (you know the one ... "Star trekkers across the universe/Can't go forward, cos they're stuck in reverse"). She stayed in my head purely because of the novelty of stripping to sci-fi anthems like that. If only she did the Babylon 5 or the Stargate themes as well, then it would have been complete ^_^
The second girl that stayed in my mind was the last girl we saw, who was supposedly labelled "Miss Nude Australia." She had this steaming hot act where after she took off all her clothes, proceeded to get a shower from all these sprinklers at the bathroom attachment at the end. She then soaped her hot, nude body off, before walking near the audience and pushing some old dude's face between her legs, pushing a chick's face into her bust, before trying to remove her bra and top. The old dude got a second taste too, the sleazy bastard. In fact, he got favours from a couple of the other girls too -_-
All in all, a lot of fun and a nice night out,despite the fact that there weren't many girls out.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
Kids say the darndest things
Well, like the title says, I've been having an ... interesting week. As those of you living in Adelaide know, this week has had some summer-like weather. That, combined with school holidays, really brought in a taste of summer. Wednesday, it's 33 degrees Celsius, Thursday it's 35. It was hard enough getting a parking spot Wednesday afternoon to go to the gym I have a membership of at the Adelaide Aquatic Centre (although surprisingly the gym wasn't as crowded I feared it might be - and a testament to that is that I've been using the exact same public locker the whole week. It's always been free whenever I came in), and Thursday I come in for the first of my two weekly swims to find that the carpark is totally full, and I have to park across the soccer field behind the Aquatic Centre, and then trek all the way across said soccer field, through the carparl, and then right past the line at reception because I have a membership card, into the Aquatic Centre. At least it wasn't hard getting a locker.
I'm changing into my swimming gear, when these two Viet kids and their dad come into the members' changeroom. One of them looks right at me as I pull on my goggles, and then remarks in Vietnamese that I've got glasses. I reply in Vietnamese that I have sunglasses too, which amuses the father.
Later on, I get up to go to the bathroom, and this little white kid comes in with me. We're both standing there at the urinal, and the little kid, for some reason is checking out my package, and then starts asking me about where I got my bathers and board shorts, and that he got his at Target. Dude, I don't even wanna know! What's even worse is that you're making urinal chat, and that is one of the MOST disgusting things that a man can ever do to another man. I do not want to be accosted by some guy while I'm relieving myself, see them checking me out, and least of all for them to try to make some chit-chat because they're lonely. Ugh, at least it was only a little kid doing all that, and not some creepy old guy.
My dad left for a holiday with friends in China about a week and a half or so ago, leaving at home myself, my brother, and my mum. It's sort of weird how, as the (current) oldest male in the house, I immediately gain superiority. My mum then starts being needy because she's left with noone in the house but herself on weekends. Case in point: A couple of Fridays ago it was the night of the Blue and White, which my brother had reluctantly decided to attend. I blame peer pressure. I had drawn early-midnight chauffeur duty, which meant that I had to take my brother to pick up his friend at Magill, and then drive all the way across town to Enfield to pick up their dates. My brother's date was late, so we ended up having to wait an hour before they came back. I spent that hour in the tape listening to stuff on my iRiver.
Interestingly enough, I once accidentally tricked a girl into believing that I had my own radio station. I was driving her back from uni to her place (near mine), and I put on my iRiver, which is connected to a radio transmitter. I tell her that we're listening to 93.3 AlexFM, and then she believes that I really do have a radio station playing Jpop and Jrock that she can tune into. But I digress.
The girls come in, I make comments about them being late, and I start driving to the before-party, which is conveniently located near the school, where the Blue and White formal is being held. As I drive there, I tease the girls about the stuff they talk about (one crashed her car while she was busy checking herself out in the mirror, the other crashed hers while she was looking for a minty), I could swear, my brother's date kept tapping me on the shoulder. If that's not an indicator of interest, I don't know what is. It might be more due to the fact that I drove them there in my nice Skyline rather than any other personality trait I might have, but meh, I haven't seen her again since that night.
Later that night, I end up picking them up, driving them back to the house of my brother's friend's date (what a mouthful), so they can change for the after-party, and drive my brother's date home (in Mawson Lakes no less).
Thankfully, I didn't have to pick them up from the after-party at 2-3am in the morning. My mum did.
I went out clubbing last weekend.
Friday night I went out with some net friends to Mansions in the city, near Rundle Mall. It was a big, noisy place, because there were a couple of pubcrawls going there at the time we came in - one from Flinders, and the other from gods-know-where. I come with my friend and we introduce ourselves to this group of girls. He got "claimed" by the big fat girl. I ended up getting this chubby girl who wasn't too bad herself, but was getting overly ... intimate. I'm sure it was her choice to get closer than normal rather than any desire to do anything else, like posing for a photo, but it was nice. I tried talking to these other girls, but unfortunately, they looked like internationals, and could not understand the gist of what I was saying to them.
Time goes on, we find that Mansions is getting boring, so we decide to take a 5 minute walk and hit Church. Again, nothing really good there, everyone else is out on the dance floor, and I'm not partial to the press of bodies that constitutes the dance floor at that time. Again, I see some other girls I walk up to and talk to, but it seems it must have been Foreign Legion night for me, they were international students too! They didn't understand what I wanted either. We end up walking down through Rundle Mall to Hindley Street to get something from Hungry Georges, which is unfortunately shut.
During our cruise through Rundle Mall, we find an empty troll. Not one to leave things like that alone, I grab it, run forward a bit, and then haul myself up off the ground, leaning on the trolley as it careens under its own power through the mall. My friend Dragos gets on, and then my other friend Adam starts spinning it around and around, to see if he can jump out and land on his feet. Lo and behold, as we're doing this, a cop van shows up, and we're all like "shit, the cops, better stop now," and then Dragos has to come up to the cop van to have a word with the good officers of the law.
He comes back to us afterwards.
"Thanks a lot you guys, now I've got a criminal record!"
Needless to say, this left us cacking ourselves. Unfortunately, nothing else happened that night.
Saturday night I come out to Empire Pool Lounge, to meet up with those same friends and then hit HQ soon after. Nothing really good at Empire, but the one thing I have discovered: it's a big Asian haunt. I'm not too surprised, considering most young Asians like to play pool, and Soul Bar isn't more than about ten minutes walk or so from there.
We come into HQ, nothing good, we come back out, questioning the door chick as to whether our UV-sensitive inked stamps actually worked, and demanded new ones. After stuffing around a bit, we come back in, and boy, ten minutes sure can be surprising. The club is packed, lots of people everywhere. My mates and I post up in a corner near the bar, and then about ten minutes later, this promo chick comes in. The first thing you see isn't her face, nor is it the skimpy dress she's wearing. It's her absolutely massive breasts. I swear, you look at a pair like that and think "watermelon," which instantly leads to thoughts questioning whether they're organically grown or genetically modified (or cosmetically modified in this case) melons.
Trying my hardest to keep my gaze away from her bust and on her face, I see this promo chick is an Asian girl. She talks to us about signing up for some VIP membership for the club which is free, and then my friend Ben starts making chitchat with her. He asks her if many guys crack onto her, she replies it's normally asking her "are they real?" Now I chime in.
"Since we're on the subject, are they?" I ask. The promo chick claims they are, but if you look at a bust that size, it is nigh-impossible to believe that they are real. She claims she's not Asian, but instead some islander chick.
Later on at HQ, we come across this trio of girls. I walk right up to them and talk to them. One of the girls immediately asks me "What nationality are you? Asian I know, but which one? Are you Japanese?"
It's very surprising the first one she happens across is Japanese. It might be because of the way I was dressed at that time (dark Diesel jeans, white belt with safety-buckle belt buckle, dog tags, black singlet and open black short-sleeved button-up shirt), but honestly, that she went Japanese first immediately set off some alarms. I reply that I wasn't, but I spoke it. She wants me to prove it. So I do.
ME: あなた は おたく です か？ (translation: Are you an otaku?)
HER: あれ は なに です か？ (translation: what's that?)
I then explain to her that otaku means nerd, and that I asked her that because almost all the Japanese speakers I know are nerds/geeks (truth). All this time the three of em are smoking, blowing smoke in my face, and I wave it right back into theirs with a cheeky grin.
They then try to guess my nationality. They can't work it out until I hint that it starts with a V. Yes, that's right. They guess Vietnamese. They want me to teach them some, so I teach one of them how to say what their name is. I then get the quick learner to get me a drink (water, so it's free), promising to teach them how to swear. She does, and I do. Unfortunately nothing came out of that.
At about 2am, me and my friend Ben have come out of HQ, having had enough of clubbing for one night, and hit Marcellina's for some late night pizza. We're sitting there, chatting about stuff, when this girl comes over to our table on a dare to get Ben to agree to come home with her. He really makes her work for it, and all this time she's being really desperate and not wanting to be there, just wanting to get it overwith as well. She sort of spurns me (the bitch), and then Ben goes "sorry, I don't do girls who don't help my friends." (correct me if this wasn't what you said).
She replies "I don't do threesomes."
I reply "what about foursomes?"
Certainly an interesting end to a fun night.
My dad comes back from China this Sunday, so hopefully my mum will stop medicating my brother and myself with food to try to get over her anxiety of being alone. I mean, honestly, we have had so much rich food, I almost feel sick. Quiche for breakfast, sausages for breakfast, pancakes for breakfast (I rarely eat those anymore because they are very bad on the waistline), this really nice Viet dish called Bun Cha (grilled pork, fish sauce and rice vermicelli) for dinner, and today, we went to Cafe Primo for a rich-as Italian meal, topped off with what was the thickest pancake that I have ever seen, complimented by a small bowl of maple sauce and a small bowl of cream.
I was going to try dieting this week, going back on the soup, but the first night I do, my mum goes on the full guilt-trip thing about how she cooked all this food and that I didn't eat it and now it's such a waste, etc that I dropped the diet after one day and decided to wait until my dad got back before trying it properly again. I swear, she claims to buy all this fatty food (biscuits, chips, ice cream, soft drinks) for herself, but she never eats it. My brother and I do. She knows this. I think it's a subtle form of mind control, to keep us dependent on her, which is why she's so against me moving out - she wants to hold onto me as long as possible. On the other hand, I want to move into a bachelor pad where I control fully what I eat, when I eat, when I go out, when I wake up, and so on. It's also handy to bring girls back to, because then they don't have to do a walk of shame past the breakfast table to the door, or try to avoid the parents.
Till next time!
I'm changing into my swimming gear, when these two Viet kids and their dad come into the members' changeroom. One of them looks right at me as I pull on my goggles, and then remarks in Vietnamese that I've got glasses. I reply in Vietnamese that I have sunglasses too, which amuses the father.
Later on, I get up to go to the bathroom, and this little white kid comes in with me. We're both standing there at the urinal, and the little kid, for some reason is checking out my package, and then starts asking me about where I got my bathers and board shorts, and that he got his at Target. Dude, I don't even wanna know! What's even worse is that you're making urinal chat, and that is one of the MOST disgusting things that a man can ever do to another man. I do not want to be accosted by some guy while I'm relieving myself, see them checking me out, and least of all for them to try to make some chit-chat because they're lonely. Ugh, at least it was only a little kid doing all that, and not some creepy old guy.
My dad left for a holiday with friends in China about a week and a half or so ago, leaving at home myself, my brother, and my mum. It's sort of weird how, as the (current) oldest male in the house, I immediately gain superiority. My mum then starts being needy because she's left with noone in the house but herself on weekends. Case in point: A couple of Fridays ago it was the night of the Blue and White, which my brother had reluctantly decided to attend. I blame peer pressure. I had drawn early-midnight chauffeur duty, which meant that I had to take my brother to pick up his friend at Magill, and then drive all the way across town to Enfield to pick up their dates. My brother's date was late, so we ended up having to wait an hour before they came back. I spent that hour in the tape listening to stuff on my iRiver.
Interestingly enough, I once accidentally tricked a girl into believing that I had my own radio station. I was driving her back from uni to her place (near mine), and I put on my iRiver, which is connected to a radio transmitter. I tell her that we're listening to 93.3 AlexFM, and then she believes that I really do have a radio station playing Jpop and Jrock that she can tune into. But I digress.
The girls come in, I make comments about them being late, and I start driving to the before-party, which is conveniently located near the school, where the Blue and White formal is being held. As I drive there, I tease the girls about the stuff they talk about (one crashed her car while she was busy checking herself out in the mirror, the other crashed hers while she was looking for a minty), I could swear, my brother's date kept tapping me on the shoulder. If that's not an indicator of interest, I don't know what is. It might be more due to the fact that I drove them there in my nice Skyline rather than any other personality trait I might have, but meh, I haven't seen her again since that night.
Later that night, I end up picking them up, driving them back to the house of my brother's friend's date (what a mouthful), so they can change for the after-party, and drive my brother's date home (in Mawson Lakes no less).
Thankfully, I didn't have to pick them up from the after-party at 2-3am in the morning. My mum did.
I went out clubbing last weekend.
Friday night I went out with some net friends to Mansions in the city, near Rundle Mall. It was a big, noisy place, because there were a couple of pubcrawls going there at the time we came in - one from Flinders, and the other from gods-know-where. I come with my friend and we introduce ourselves to this group of girls. He got "claimed" by the big fat girl. I ended up getting this chubby girl who wasn't too bad herself, but was getting overly ... intimate. I'm sure it was her choice to get closer than normal rather than any desire to do anything else, like posing for a photo, but it was nice. I tried talking to these other girls, but unfortunately, they looked like internationals, and could not understand the gist of what I was saying to them.
Time goes on, we find that Mansions is getting boring, so we decide to take a 5 minute walk and hit Church. Again, nothing really good there, everyone else is out on the dance floor, and I'm not partial to the press of bodies that constitutes the dance floor at that time. Again, I see some other girls I walk up to and talk to, but it seems it must have been Foreign Legion night for me, they were international students too! They didn't understand what I wanted either. We end up walking down through Rundle Mall to Hindley Street to get something from Hungry Georges, which is unfortunately shut.
During our cruise through Rundle Mall, we find an empty troll. Not one to leave things like that alone, I grab it, run forward a bit, and then haul myself up off the ground, leaning on the trolley as it careens under its own power through the mall. My friend Dragos gets on, and then my other friend Adam starts spinning it around and around, to see if he can jump out and land on his feet. Lo and behold, as we're doing this, a cop van shows up, and we're all like "shit, the cops, better stop now," and then Dragos has to come up to the cop van to have a word with the good officers of the law.
He comes back to us afterwards.
"Thanks a lot you guys, now I've got a criminal record!"
Needless to say, this left us cacking ourselves. Unfortunately, nothing else happened that night.
Saturday night I come out to Empire Pool Lounge, to meet up with those same friends and then hit HQ soon after. Nothing really good at Empire, but the one thing I have discovered: it's a big Asian haunt. I'm not too surprised, considering most young Asians like to play pool, and Soul Bar isn't more than about ten minutes walk or so from there.
We come into HQ, nothing good, we come back out, questioning the door chick as to whether our UV-sensitive inked stamps actually worked, and demanded new ones. After stuffing around a bit, we come back in, and boy, ten minutes sure can be surprising. The club is packed, lots of people everywhere. My mates and I post up in a corner near the bar, and then about ten minutes later, this promo chick comes in. The first thing you see isn't her face, nor is it the skimpy dress she's wearing. It's her absolutely massive breasts. I swear, you look at a pair like that and think "watermelon," which instantly leads to thoughts questioning whether they're organically grown or genetically modified (or cosmetically modified in this case) melons.
Trying my hardest to keep my gaze away from her bust and on her face, I see this promo chick is an Asian girl. She talks to us about signing up for some VIP membership for the club which is free, and then my friend Ben starts making chitchat with her. He asks her if many guys crack onto her, she replies it's normally asking her "are they real?" Now I chime in.
"Since we're on the subject, are they?" I ask. The promo chick claims they are, but if you look at a bust that size, it is nigh-impossible to believe that they are real. She claims she's not Asian, but instead some islander chick.
Later on at HQ, we come across this trio of girls. I walk right up to them and talk to them. One of the girls immediately asks me "What nationality are you? Asian I know, but which one? Are you Japanese?"
It's very surprising the first one she happens across is Japanese. It might be because of the way I was dressed at that time (dark Diesel jeans, white belt with safety-buckle belt buckle, dog tags, black singlet and open black short-sleeved button-up shirt), but honestly, that she went Japanese first immediately set off some alarms. I reply that I wasn't, but I spoke it. She wants me to prove it. So I do.
ME: あなた は おたく です か？ (translation: Are you an otaku?)
HER: あれ は なに です か？ (translation: what's that?)
I then explain to her that otaku means nerd, and that I asked her that because almost all the Japanese speakers I know are nerds/geeks (truth). All this time the three of em are smoking, blowing smoke in my face, and I wave it right back into theirs with a cheeky grin.
They then try to guess my nationality. They can't work it out until I hint that it starts with a V. Yes, that's right. They guess Vietnamese. They want me to teach them some, so I teach one of them how to say what their name is. I then get the quick learner to get me a drink (water, so it's free), promising to teach them how to swear. She does, and I do. Unfortunately nothing came out of that.
At about 2am, me and my friend Ben have come out of HQ, having had enough of clubbing for one night, and hit Marcellina's for some late night pizza. We're sitting there, chatting about stuff, when this girl comes over to our table on a dare to get Ben to agree to come home with her. He really makes her work for it, and all this time she's being really desperate and not wanting to be there, just wanting to get it overwith as well. She sort of spurns me (the bitch), and then Ben goes "sorry, I don't do girls who don't help my friends." (correct me if this wasn't what you said).
She replies "I don't do threesomes."
I reply "what about foursomes?"
Certainly an interesting end to a fun night.
My dad comes back from China this Sunday, so hopefully my mum will stop medicating my brother and myself with food to try to get over her anxiety of being alone. I mean, honestly, we have had so much rich food, I almost feel sick. Quiche for breakfast, sausages for breakfast, pancakes for breakfast (I rarely eat those anymore because they are very bad on the waistline), this really nice Viet dish called Bun Cha (grilled pork, fish sauce and rice vermicelli) for dinner, and today, we went to Cafe Primo for a rich-as Italian meal, topped off with what was the thickest pancake that I have ever seen, complimented by a small bowl of maple sauce and a small bowl of cream.
I was going to try dieting this week, going back on the soup, but the first night I do, my mum goes on the full guilt-trip thing about how she cooked all this food and that I didn't eat it and now it's such a waste, etc that I dropped the diet after one day and decided to wait until my dad got back before trying it properly again. I swear, she claims to buy all this fatty food (biscuits, chips, ice cream, soft drinks) for herself, but she never eats it. My brother and I do. She knows this. I think it's a subtle form of mind control, to keep us dependent on her, which is why she's so against me moving out - she wants to hold onto me as long as possible. On the other hand, I want to move into a bachelor pad where I control fully what I eat, when I eat, when I go out, when I wake up, and so on. It's also handy to bring girls back to, because then they don't have to do a walk of shame past the breakfast table to the door, or try to avoid the parents.
Till next time!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Nightbringer no yuutsu
At the moment I am stuck in a rut. From the list of activities that I can do at the moment, I don't really want to do any of them, and most of the things that I can do, I can't due to various reasons - I can't play my newly purchased Kingdom Hearts II because I have to dodge parents (really just my mum at the moment because my dad's in China with friends), which is hard because I have to work most days, and Monday being a public holiday didn't help. Tuesday I ended up sleeping in and then spending most of the day on the internet. I can't use my airbrush while my mum's around because then I have to deal with her going off at me getting lung cancer because I'm airbrushing with non-toxic paints. This means I usually do it at night so that she's sleeping and doesn't complain about the smell of thinner or giving myself throat cancer.
What I need at the moment is a bit of direction and some focus. I would take my models, because I have so many that I have to build and I'm always buying new ones, but again, parental issues forcing me to do it at night means that I can only actually do it once or twice a week.
The fact that I do not know when my mum comes home means that the contraband PS2 that I got my hands on is at risk of being found out if I do play when I get home, so I don't risk it.
For the trip around eastern Australia, I'm supposed to be saving my money, so I can't really be spending too much (and on what? I don't really have anything I want at the moment, although impulse buying will probably see to draining my funds).
Otherwise, I end up with things like this - blogging a bit after midnight when I should be sleeping because I'm supposed to be attending a staff meeting at 8:30am the next day, most probably about me eating in the shop.
What I need at the moment is a bit of direction and some focus. I would take my models, because I have so many that I have to build and I'm always buying new ones, but again, parental issues forcing me to do it at night means that I can only actually do it once or twice a week.
The fact that I do not know when my mum comes home means that the contraband PS2 that I got my hands on is at risk of being found out if I do play when I get home, so I don't risk it.
For the trip around eastern Australia, I'm supposed to be saving my money, so I can't really be spending too much (and on what? I don't really have anything I want at the moment, although impulse buying will probably see to draining my funds).
Otherwise, I end up with things like this - blogging a bit after midnight when I should be sleeping because I'm supposed to be attending a staff meeting at 8:30am the next day, most probably about me eating in the shop.
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