We're approaching the end of the year now.
As another year draws to a close, I have to look back on the year that's passed, and see what I've accomplished between then and now. This year had a whole lot of different firsts.
My first night school course.
My first funeral.
My first job qualification.
The first time I managed to save up a substantial amount of money.
So what things of note have I done this year?
I've been mainly working this year, and saving money, since my friend Henry contacted me early in the year and told me he wanted to go travelling through Europe after he finished his medical internship at Glasgow. On a humorous sidenote, I kept pronouncing it 'Glas-cow' until someone corrected me and told me it was pronounced 'Glas-go.' To date, I have saved about $4000, and with the final paycheck that I get, just before I leave on my holiday, I will have saved $5000. That is the largest amount that I have ever managed to save in my 23 years of life on this Earth. I will strive to save even more next year.
As I've talked about previously, my aunt died in March, and it was my first time to a funeral. It was a very sobering experience. The solemness, the concentrated grief and sense of loss I felt at the funeral was overpowering. I can't say I felt much, because I wasn't really that close to her, so I won't say much more, aside from the fact that it was an eye-opening experience to go to my first funeral. I always thought that the first funeral that I would go to would be that of my grandparents, since I still believed that I lived in a world where death and killing was something that did not happen, was something that was only on the news. It was a jarring experience to know the bony hand of death can touch anyone.
Around about the same time, I took a night school course in bookkeeping and accounting, mainly because the parents wanted me to help out the family business in 'other' ways instead of just working there as a shop drone. It was an interesting experience, and I will admit that I did find the work enjoyable, although somewhat inducing of an anal-retentive approach to problems. You have to make sure everything is lined up, all the i's are dotted, all the t's crossed, everything in the right place, or else the whole thing doesn't work, and then you end up spending half an hour (or more) digging through your accounts to work out what went wrong - it could be something as simple as missing writing in a certain amount, and one stray number when working out accounts is truly a monkey wrench in the mathematical workings.
Truly, the business world is a fearsome beast.
Even more fearsome when you see the financial crash that will probably be one of the greatest defining events of 2008, alongside the historic election in the US of Barack Obama, the first black president of the USA. I think back to that stock market assignment that I did at uni the year before, and the way so many presentations mentioned the 'subprime crisis,' I wonder why I didn't see it coming before. Probably because I was distracted by all the favorable exchange rates meaning I could buy stuff online from overseas cheaper.
The crash really hindered my saving for the trip, since the exchange rate of the Australian dollar to the euro is approximately $1AU = 0.5 euro, meaning that my saving effort is effectively halved. I still hope that I can have a good time in Europe on 5000 euros for a month and a bit.
I attended a dispensary training course in the middle of the year, which was interesting. It was a weekend-long workshop, which meant I got time off from my usual working times (Saturday and Sunday), to attend a workshop paid for by company money. So now, I'm qualified to work in the dispensary in a pharmacy. It's certainly a lot more interesting than working as a lottery drone, I'll say. Knowing which medicines are which, which have generics and what those generic brands are called, being able to decode the world-renowned secret code that is doctor's writing, it's certainly a different world to running a lottery stand. For one thing, you don't have to worry about problem gamblers, and the druggies are dealt with by the pharmacist doling out their doses of methadone or subutex. I'll probably look for a more dedicated dispensary technician position in the following year - I don't know how much longer I want to work at the family business.
I've learnt very painfully over the past year that family and business rarely mix well. The main pharmacist at the family-owned pharmacy I've been working at has been my cousin. Three years my senior, she's gone through something of a rough year too, but honestly, most of us think she's a bitch. Rude, hypocritical, prone to mood swings and power-trips, a real dragon lady. Add to that she was pregnant for the majority of the year, and an annoyance is upgraded to a real headache. I've had so many problems dealing with her this year, that I've decided that I want to have as little contact with her as possible. I think since she had the baby in October, she's mellowed out a little more, but I still haven't forgiven her for some of the things that she had done throughout the year, in making work nearly unbearable, to the point that I had decided several times throughout the year that if she was to try to cause more trouble, then I would quit.
It would have been fine if I could just leave the whole thing behind at work, but unfortunately, when problem co-workers like that follow you home, you have to seriously consider whether it's time to change workplace.
I was again, in a relationship this year. The first one which I thought had some real, long-term potential. I met her at a friend's birthday bash. We really hit it off over several shared interests - she loved anime, reading, writing, and other similarly intellectual pursuits, like the appreciation of the Chaser, Heroes, and Top Gear. We saw each other a lot over the next three or four months, and I swear, it was almost like love.
Almost.
When I think about it, one of the highlights will always be how passionately and urgently our kisses were at the end of our dates, when I would drive her back to her place, and then we'd sit in my car pashing like there was no tomorrow until I pried her off me because we had places to go and things to do. We did a lot of fun things together - we went to the Adelaide Show, we ate out, we saw movies together (even though we had both seen The Dark Knight before we had met, we saw it again together because we both loved the movie and the act that Heath Ledger, in peace rest his soul, put in as the Joker), we spent time together.
The defining experience for me on that, before it started to slide downhill, will always be that sunny day we ate out for lunch, and then walked down to the River Torrens, and lay on the grass on the riverside, kissing each other and enjoying the sunlight.
Ah, puppy love.
Sadly, all good things come to an end, and I grew sick of her valuing her virginity like a religious artefact, and she grew sick of me, in her eyes, pushing for sex, as well as being sexual in general. I know there probably aren't any female readers of this blog (hell, I don't think anyone but my friends read this anyway), but I will say it straight out.
I am a man, and like any human being, I have needs. If my needs are somewhat more physical as opposed to emotional, then I'm sorry, that's the way things go. I will not apologise for being a man, and acknowledging that I have masculine needs, nor will I change who I am for the sake of someone else's convenience.
A bit of left-over vitriol from when I remembered our breaking up, her choosing to tell me over MSN that I'm dumped, and then proceeding to post a (presumably edited) transcript of our conversation up on her blog for people to see, and then rail at the 'dirty, chauvinstic guy.'
Moving on ...
Let's look at the goals I set for 2008:
1) Write a book
2) Lose weight and get to 10% body fat
3) Become a better man
1) Write a book
I've certainly gotten incredibly close for goal #1. I've written roughly 60,000 words, so far, and that's enough for a small novel. I'm about 80% of the way through. I have to thank NanoWriMo for that - National Novel Writing Month. In one month, I ended up writing roughly 55,000 words, which I felt was a big push.
In one year, I've gone from research, to writing. Admittedly, most of it was concentrated into November, but I still accomplished the goal. I'm now a lot closer to publishing now that I have 0.8 of a book, as opposed to the zero that I started with this year. The people whom I've shown the draft to absolutely love it to bits, so I'm on a good track (hopefully).
2) Weight loss
At the beginning of the year, I saw a lot of good progress as I finished up a 3-month training program, paired with a strict diet. After finishing that program, I then went on a week-long stint on the Master Cleanse, in which you eat nothing and drink nothing but a special concoction of squeezed lemon juice, special palm syrup, and cayenne pepper for up to two weeks. After the initial shock and adjusting to eating nothing and getting all of my nutrients from just liquids, I found it an interesting experience. Of course, such a radical change provoked consternation from friends and family. Amusing quotes include 'you look gaunt like a druggie now!' and 'you look just as thin as your terminally-cancerous aunt!'
Most of the year, I ended up cycling between attempting the anti-estrogenic diet for a week or two, and then just eating crap the next week, and then returning to the proper diet. I ended up getting used to the Warrior Diet, in which you eat little, if at all, during the day, and then binge during the night on almost whatever you want, barring refined carbs. In fact, if I eat too many heavy carbs during the day, I actually get quite sick for several hours.
Getting in a relationship is also not very conducive to dieting either, since it's kinda hard to force another person to follow the same diet as you if you are dieting in a certain way. During the four month relationship, I actually gained weight as a result of eating crap. Definitely have to find a girl who is into health like me next time.
I've come to the conclusion based on experience, that I tend to lose more weight when I focus more on building muscle than just losing fat.
3) Become a better man
This year, I've become more well-rounded, I feel. In Toastmasters, I've finished my ten speeches, and attained the rank of Competent Communicator. I took up Krav Maga for part of the year, which was a very interesting experience. I took up Iaido this year too, and likely to follow into the next year. Those push-up affirmations I did really helped - three months of push-ups and affirming that 'I am the man' really helped to push my confidence up further.
However, work recently has become more and more of a drain on my energy, so I am starting to look for work elsewhere.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
What's the meaning?
Day six of my flu time and I think it's starting to get better.
Good thing too, because I've started getting really bored at home, and contemplating things like 'what's it all worth?'
One would think that I had plenty of things to do at home, but the reality can hurt sometimes. I got Infinite Undiscovery earlier this week. Lack of a map or walkthroughs, as well as being incredibly confusing and easy to get stuck at many times is giving me the shits. There's nothing really catching my interest to watch on TV, the internet to download.
Added to that, whenever I wake up it seems my throat is a nest of pain. Everytime I swallow it feels like someone's slashing at my throat with a cutthroat razor. I've developed painfully nasty, inflamed gums (probably from drinking too much of that honey-and-lemon concoction to ease the throat pain).
The unwanted extra free time, the daily diet of rice gruel and soup, as well as some things that have been happening in my personal life, have made me really wonder ...
What is life?
You're born, you grow up, you work, you spawn, and then you die. Everyone gets on this endless treadmill called life, and does this same thing, sometimes in different sequences, but still, it all goes in this sequence.
In the grand scheme of the universe, rather insignificant. Consider - in a universe of a million million galaxies, each galaxy made up of a billion billion stars, we are here, on one little blue planet in a surburban arm of nowhere, in a mediocre-sized galaxy called the Milky Way, going about our insignificant little lives, blissfully(?) going about our own daily little lives, believing in trivial matters like who makes the next footy grand final, the stupid, silly little facts on the Republican Vice President-Nominate's unwed daughter being pregnant, like they actually matter, in the grand scheme of things.
In the grand scheme of things, everything that happens on this mudball, in this pissy arm of a ho-hum galaxy is, at the best, irrelevant. Why should it matter? In a few billion years, the sun will go nova, expand, turn our little Earth garden into a charred ball of carbon, melted rock and burned metal, wiping out all sign of human life on Earth.
So then ... what really, is the meaning behind any of this?
Good thing too, because I've started getting really bored at home, and contemplating things like 'what's it all worth?'
One would think that I had plenty of things to do at home, but the reality can hurt sometimes. I got Infinite Undiscovery earlier this week. Lack of a map or walkthroughs, as well as being incredibly confusing and easy to get stuck at many times is giving me the shits. There's nothing really catching my interest to watch on TV, the internet to download.
Added to that, whenever I wake up it seems my throat is a nest of pain. Everytime I swallow it feels like someone's slashing at my throat with a cutthroat razor. I've developed painfully nasty, inflamed gums (probably from drinking too much of that honey-and-lemon concoction to ease the throat pain).
The unwanted extra free time, the daily diet of rice gruel and soup, as well as some things that have been happening in my personal life, have made me really wonder ...
What is life?
You're born, you grow up, you work, you spawn, and then you die. Everyone gets on this endless treadmill called life, and does this same thing, sometimes in different sequences, but still, it all goes in this sequence.
In the grand scheme of the universe, rather insignificant. Consider - in a universe of a million million galaxies, each galaxy made up of a billion billion stars, we are here, on one little blue planet in a surburban arm of nowhere, in a mediocre-sized galaxy called the Milky Way, going about our insignificant little lives, blissfully(?) going about our own daily little lives, believing in trivial matters like who makes the next footy grand final, the stupid, silly little facts on the Republican Vice President-Nominate's unwed daughter being pregnant, like they actually matter, in the grand scheme of things.
In the grand scheme of things, everything that happens on this mudball, in this pissy arm of a ho-hum galaxy is, at the best, irrelevant. Why should it matter? In a few billion years, the sun will go nova, expand, turn our little Earth garden into a charred ball of carbon, melted rock and burned metal, wiping out all sign of human life on Earth.
So then ... what really, is the meaning behind any of this?
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
House, MD
What's this? Two blog posts in one month?
Yes, I have that much free time at the moment, and nothing better to do apparently.
A quick update for the dear readers ... I have come down sick. I have a nasty feeling that it started a couple of weeks ago with what appeared to be the early signs of a cold. But as I was seeing a special lady in a few days, I wanted to make sure that I was fighting fit. So, precautions - a lot of butter menthol lollies, some of those nasty strepsils- type throat lozenges, and judicious use of Vicks First Defence nasal sprays. I think it went away ... and for your information, the date went quite well ... but then it appears it might have come back with a vengeance.
On Sunday, I woke up with a nasty sore throat, and a fit of coughing. No biggie, my dad grabs some antibiotics from the dispensary at work and chucks it to me, as well as getting some Cepacol Plus throat lozenges. I spend a very fitful and feverish night half sleeping, half hacking and coughing my lungs out. I end up getting the shivers ... and it's not anything anyone should ever have to go through.
Monday, I wake up feeling like total shit. A headache, a throat like someone took an electric sander to it, body aches, and even nastier coughs. It's all I can do to stagger downstairs and pitifully beg in a hoarse and cracked voice for some medical treatment. At which point, my dad kindly brews up a concoction of honey, lemon juice, and hot water, which slides down my throat so soothingly ... and then warms up some pumpkin soup for me. However, once I get doped up on painkillers and cold and flu meds, I regain some form of functionality. I spend most of the day sitting around, reading forums and manga and going through about three pots of tea. Benadryl Night-Time cough syrup ensures I have a better night's sleep.
Tuesday ... I wake up, throat feeling like the sander was switched for a sandblaster, and coughing up blood. Lots of fun. The fun bit came at the end of the day when I had foolishly chosen not to drink as much water, and I end up with the symptoms of a hangover ... queasy stomach, and a nasty headache. It's not fair! If I wanted a hangover, I wanted to at least have that unpleasant bit balanced out with the drunken feelgood buzz you get when you start to get drunk! -_-
The fun bit came Tuesday evenning, however, when my med friend in Melbourne, Henry, decided to implement some telemedicine.
Ironically, he wrote a 4000 word essay on that very subject back in high school, and I remember making jokes about it, like 'teledeath,' where you kill yourself by licking the monitor and having the person on the other end administer fatal doses of electricity through the screen. It seemed pretty ironic that he was now practicing that on me ...
My brother got to play nurse, and I got to play the patient ... he used his mobile phone's built-in torch to shine light in my mouth, and a DS stylus to press my tongue down. The look of horror on his face when Henry told him to get a sample of my bloody phlegm was just golden.
Ugh ... going to see the doctor later today, so let's hope it's nothing too serious.
Yes, I have that much free time at the moment, and nothing better to do apparently.
A quick update for the dear readers ... I have come down sick. I have a nasty feeling that it started a couple of weeks ago with what appeared to be the early signs of a cold. But as I was seeing a special lady in a few days, I wanted to make sure that I was fighting fit. So, precautions - a lot of butter menthol lollies, some of those nasty strepsils- type throat lozenges, and judicious use of Vicks First Defence nasal sprays. I think it went away ... and for your information, the date went quite well ... but then it appears it might have come back with a vengeance.
On Sunday, I woke up with a nasty sore throat, and a fit of coughing. No biggie, my dad grabs some antibiotics from the dispensary at work and chucks it to me, as well as getting some Cepacol Plus throat lozenges. I spend a very fitful and feverish night half sleeping, half hacking and coughing my lungs out. I end up getting the shivers ... and it's not anything anyone should ever have to go through.
Monday, I wake up feeling like total shit. A headache, a throat like someone took an electric sander to it, body aches, and even nastier coughs. It's all I can do to stagger downstairs and pitifully beg in a hoarse and cracked voice for some medical treatment. At which point, my dad kindly brews up a concoction of honey, lemon juice, and hot water, which slides down my throat so soothingly ... and then warms up some pumpkin soup for me. However, once I get doped up on painkillers and cold and flu meds, I regain some form of functionality. I spend most of the day sitting around, reading forums and manga and going through about three pots of tea. Benadryl Night-Time cough syrup ensures I have a better night's sleep.
Tuesday ... I wake up, throat feeling like the sander was switched for a sandblaster, and coughing up blood. Lots of fun. The fun bit came at the end of the day when I had foolishly chosen not to drink as much water, and I end up with the symptoms of a hangover ... queasy stomach, and a nasty headache. It's not fair! If I wanted a hangover, I wanted to at least have that unpleasant bit balanced out with the drunken feelgood buzz you get when you start to get drunk! -_-
The fun bit came Tuesday evenning, however, when my med friend in Melbourne, Henry, decided to implement some telemedicine.
Ironically, he wrote a 4000 word essay on that very subject back in high school, and I remember making jokes about it, like 'teledeath,' where you kill yourself by licking the monitor and having the person on the other end administer fatal doses of electricity through the screen. It seemed pretty ironic that he was now practicing that on me ...
My brother got to play nurse, and I got to play the patient ... he used his mobile phone's built-in torch to shine light in my mouth, and a DS stylus to press my tongue down. The look of horror on his face when Henry told him to get a sample of my bloody phlegm was just golden.
Ugh ... going to see the doctor later today, so let's hope it's nothing too serious.
Monday, September 01, 2008
A Facebook Rant
I've noticed something recently.
Particularly the popularity of digital cameras and high-quality camera-phones. Have you ever noticed that whenever you go out at night, you can always spot at least a few people posing for photos on the camera? And that it happens many, many times during the course of a night?
I noticed this particularly when I was out at a family dinner for my grandma's birthday. My older cousin (who is married, pregnant, and an absolute bitch to have to work with), and her husband were having fun with his expensive SLR digital camera, taking all sorts of happy snaps. Every so often, a particularly funny-looking image would crop up, and she would declare that 'we have to facebook it.'
Now this leads me to wonder ... the typical facebook photos are just a group of people smiling, with different backgrounds. Sometimes you get people doing silly/funny stuff, but mostly it's just people smiling for the camera. I wonder ... what drives people to take these photos just so they can upload it to their facebook/myspace?
I feel that in a way, it's fake. You have to put up the photos to prove to your friends and relatives that you have a fun, interesting life. Some get a kick out of having others comment on their happy-snaps. Some attention whores need the validation that comes with commenting on pics. In a way, I suppose it's because it makes them feel like their existence is being acknowledged, and they are being validated through attention from others. I suppose that's the whole reason why social-networking sites like Facebook are so popular nowadays - not just to keep in contact, but in a shallow way, to prove that you're better than others, by the happy-snaps you take while out at a club or a bar, that you actually have an interesting life. And yet, that's somewhat boring in itself - everyone goes out to clubs and bars, and gets drunk and does some stupid shit.
Particularly the popularity of digital cameras and high-quality camera-phones. Have you ever noticed that whenever you go out at night, you can always spot at least a few people posing for photos on the camera? And that it happens many, many times during the course of a night?
I noticed this particularly when I was out at a family dinner for my grandma's birthday. My older cousin (who is married, pregnant, and an absolute bitch to have to work with), and her husband were having fun with his expensive SLR digital camera, taking all sorts of happy snaps. Every so often, a particularly funny-looking image would crop up, and she would declare that 'we have to facebook it.'
Now this leads me to wonder ... the typical facebook photos are just a group of people smiling, with different backgrounds. Sometimes you get people doing silly/funny stuff, but mostly it's just people smiling for the camera. I wonder ... what drives people to take these photos just so they can upload it to their facebook/myspace?
I feel that in a way, it's fake. You have to put up the photos to prove to your friends and relatives that you have a fun, interesting life. Some get a kick out of having others comment on their happy-snaps. Some attention whores need the validation that comes with commenting on pics. In a way, I suppose it's because it makes them feel like their existence is being acknowledged, and they are being validated through attention from others. I suppose that's the whole reason why social-networking sites like Facebook are so popular nowadays - not just to keep in contact, but in a shallow way, to prove that you're better than others, by the happy-snaps you take while out at a club or a bar, that you actually have an interesting life. And yet, that's somewhat boring in itself - everyone goes out to clubs and bars, and gets drunk and does some stupid shit.
Monday, August 11, 2008
More trouble with the law
I seem to be attracting traffic infractions like a magnet attracts iron nails, or a comic convention attracts nerds. There is the speeding fine from a few weeks ago ... and ANOTHER one for speeding along a side road.
I swear, I am going to have to keep to the speed limit a lot more from now on ...
And change my car for something a bit more economical.
I swear, I am going to have to keep to the speed limit a lot more from now on ...
And change my car for something a bit more economical.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Running afoul of the law
I got done by a speed camera earlier today. That will mean it's been a month since the last time I got done by a speed camera, and a week since I have run afoul of the law in general.
What happened the week before
I had done some grocery shopping in the city, around the Central Market. In a hurry to get back home, and pack things away into the fridge before I headed off to a Toastmasters meeting, I got pulled over by a couple of cops. I figure they just wanted to pull someone over for the sake of exercising the power, because honestly, how on earth would they be able to spot someone not wearing a seatbelt in a moving car, particularly if it was moving faster than 30kmph? $250 for not having your seat belt on, that is just revenue raising.
I have to wonder though ... two traffic offences in as many weeks is either incredibly bad luck. What is the world trying to tell me? I've been pondering this question most of the day. Both times I got it because I wanted to be in a hurry, and decided to flout traffic rules for expedience's sake. Perhaps it's a sign that I should slow down, enjoy life more.
I figured I already did that, but ... what, to just take it easy, stop and smell the roses?
What happened the week before
I had done some grocery shopping in the city, around the Central Market. In a hurry to get back home, and pack things away into the fridge before I headed off to a Toastmasters meeting, I got pulled over by a couple of cops. I figure they just wanted to pull someone over for the sake of exercising the power, because honestly, how on earth would they be able to spot someone not wearing a seatbelt in a moving car, particularly if it was moving faster than 30kmph? $250 for not having your seat belt on, that is just revenue raising.
I have to wonder though ... two traffic offences in as many weeks is either incredibly bad luck. What is the world trying to tell me? I've been pondering this question most of the day. Both times I got it because I wanted to be in a hurry, and decided to flout traffic rules for expedience's sake. Perhaps it's a sign that I should slow down, enjoy life more.
I figured I already did that, but ... what, to just take it easy, stop and smell the roses?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
A new direction
It's been a long, long time since I've made an entry on this blog. Heck, almost five months.
Five months is a long, long time.
What's happened?
In that time, I've studied in accounting at night school, I've been attending krav maga lessons on and off, and went to my first funeral. It's ... wow, even when I think about it now, three months down the track, it's a powerful experience.
My aunt died of cancer in March, a withered, barely conscious husk. I think society, through its condoning of violence, has desensitised most people to the specter of death. You watch the news everyday, there's always news of murder this or soldiers fighting that, and you have to wonder what it's all in aid of. It's a surreal experience, having someone you knew die.
I suppose I have been lucky in the past that for all of the twenty two years that I have been alive on this Earth, I have only had to witness one death firsthand - my pet dog's, eating snail poison by accident. Compared to my aunt, that was mercifully quick. She was slowly dying, slowly decaying, over a long period of about seven or eight months, as the cancer slowly consumed her inside, organ by organ, until it metastasised to her bones and it was finally concluded as being terminal. I wasn't that close to her, but she was my cousins' mother, and I was relatively close to them. So I can say that she was someone that had been present in my life from the beginning ... and now, she's ... gone.
She has been for several months now.
I was one of the pallbearers at her funeral, carrying her coffin into the hearse from the Buddhist ceremony at the funeral home and then carrying it out of the hearse at the crematorium and taking it to the podium where the eulogies and final farewells would be given. Surprisingly enough, I didn't cry at the funeral, but I could feel the anguish inside, a tugging, a pulling, a ripping.
Life goes on, and we can't mourn forever. What's done is done.
When I think about that funeral, and the fact that the average human lifespan is about 20-30 thousand days, it really puts things into perspective.
I have been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. One thing that would be the worst thing to happen would be to find that I am wasting away my life, wasting the days given to me by the universe, doing petty, stupid shit. I have found my passion - writing, and my purpose - to get those stories out so others can enjoy them. I am almost ready to start the actual writing on my first book.
That said, I want to change everything for the better as well.
So now, the typical New Year's Resolution thing.
I resolve to continue working on my book and stop procrastinating.
I resolve to stick to my diet.
I resolve to train as hard as I can.
If there is a wall, break it down.
If there is no road, I will pave it with my own hands.
That is the path that all great men walk.
It all changes here.
Today.
For today, this very moment, this instant in time, this is my point of power.
Right here, right now.
Five months is a long, long time.
What's happened?
In that time, I've studied in accounting at night school, I've been attending krav maga lessons on and off, and went to my first funeral. It's ... wow, even when I think about it now, three months down the track, it's a powerful experience.
My aunt died of cancer in March, a withered, barely conscious husk. I think society, through its condoning of violence, has desensitised most people to the specter of death. You watch the news everyday, there's always news of murder this or soldiers fighting that, and you have to wonder what it's all in aid of. It's a surreal experience, having someone you knew die.
I suppose I have been lucky in the past that for all of the twenty two years that I have been alive on this Earth, I have only had to witness one death firsthand - my pet dog's, eating snail poison by accident. Compared to my aunt, that was mercifully quick. She was slowly dying, slowly decaying, over a long period of about seven or eight months, as the cancer slowly consumed her inside, organ by organ, until it metastasised to her bones and it was finally concluded as being terminal. I wasn't that close to her, but she was my cousins' mother, and I was relatively close to them. So I can say that she was someone that had been present in my life from the beginning ... and now, she's ... gone.
She has been for several months now.
I was one of the pallbearers at her funeral, carrying her coffin into the hearse from the Buddhist ceremony at the funeral home and then carrying it out of the hearse at the crematorium and taking it to the podium where the eulogies and final farewells would be given. Surprisingly enough, I didn't cry at the funeral, but I could feel the anguish inside, a tugging, a pulling, a ripping.
Life goes on, and we can't mourn forever. What's done is done.
When I think about that funeral, and the fact that the average human lifespan is about 20-30 thousand days, it really puts things into perspective.
I have been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. One thing that would be the worst thing to happen would be to find that I am wasting away my life, wasting the days given to me by the universe, doing petty, stupid shit. I have found my passion - writing, and my purpose - to get those stories out so others can enjoy them. I am almost ready to start the actual writing on my first book.
That said, I want to change everything for the better as well.
So now, the typical New Year's Resolution thing.
I resolve to continue working on my book and stop procrastinating.
I resolve to stick to my diet.
I resolve to train as hard as I can.
If there is a wall, break it down.
If there is no road, I will pave it with my own hands.
That is the path that all great men walk.
It all changes here.
Today.
For today, this very moment, this instant in time, this is my point of power.
Right here, right now.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Conclusion to the cleanse
I got really busy and wasn't able to write daily entries for the rest of the days I was on it, so I'll give a quick summary.
Day 4 was all right, I was pretty busy most of the day but had the energy to keep going. Day 5 I woke up feeling great, and was great all day. Day 6 likewise, although it was a bit cold outside.
I decided to finish up the cleanse early, and cut it after six days. I weighed myself today ... 71 kgs, which means that I am now only a kilo away from the goal weight I had established for myself when I first began my weight loss. I'm feeling pretty good - I'm on the first day of coming off the detox now. Stomach felt pretty funny in the morning after I ate the orange, and then later when I drank orange juice.
However, when I got home and had some pureed carrot-and-potato soup ... some of the best stuff I've had in a while.
Day 4 was all right, I was pretty busy most of the day but had the energy to keep going. Day 5 I woke up feeling great, and was great all day. Day 6 likewise, although it was a bit cold outside.
I decided to finish up the cleanse early, and cut it after six days. I weighed myself today ... 71 kgs, which means that I am now only a kilo away from the goal weight I had established for myself when I first began my weight loss. I'm feeling pretty good - I'm on the first day of coming off the detox now. Stomach felt pretty funny in the morning after I ate the orange, and then later when I drank orange juice.
However, when I got home and had some pureed carrot-and-potato soup ... some of the best stuff I've had in a while.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Master cleanse day three
Parents seemed a bit more accepting of the diet since I told them that I had been eating, if only just a little. Dear friends who read this blog, I thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it, it shows that you care.
Well, on this day, aside from the queasy stomach from the salt water, was pretty dandy today. Noticed I did go to the toilet a lot in the mornings though, usually for a piss and to make bowel movements. My stools today have been almost all liquid, and fat. No really bad symptoms aside from bad breath today, which is good.
I was feeling somewhat better today, and definitely up to the work of working all day. From the 2L batch I made, there's still actually about a quarter of a bottle left, so I imagine that's what I'll be drinking at the end on the fourth day. Food cravings were just as bad though, and it didn't help that I was working in a mall, where lots of people are scoffing down fast food. Not to mention I worked in front of a Wendy's stand, and so every so often I would see people with hot dogs and milk shakes. The boss bought KFC for herself to eat at lunch, and walking back to the back of the shop to get a drink I could smell the chips - they smelled so tempting. For some reason, the local paper was running a story on what pies were best, and I could feel myself drooling and salivating, even as I write this and remember, reading how the reporters described the taste of the meat, the gravy, and the pastry ... and the article in the issue of Men's Health that I was reading about various types of restaurants. I figure the first proper meal I have eating out is going to be Japanese ... especially now I want to have some yakitori and beef teriyaki, or some stuff from the sushi train I usually go to.
Well, on this day, aside from the queasy stomach from the salt water, was pretty dandy today. Noticed I did go to the toilet a lot in the mornings though, usually for a piss and to make bowel movements. My stools today have been almost all liquid, and fat. No really bad symptoms aside from bad breath today, which is good.
I was feeling somewhat better today, and definitely up to the work of working all day. From the 2L batch I made, there's still actually about a quarter of a bottle left, so I imagine that's what I'll be drinking at the end on the fourth day. Food cravings were just as bad though, and it didn't help that I was working in a mall, where lots of people are scoffing down fast food. Not to mention I worked in front of a Wendy's stand, and so every so often I would see people with hot dogs and milk shakes. The boss bought KFC for herself to eat at lunch, and walking back to the back of the shop to get a drink I could smell the chips - they smelled so tempting. For some reason, the local paper was running a story on what pies were best, and I could feel myself drooling and salivating, even as I write this and remember, reading how the reporters described the taste of the meat, the gravy, and the pastry ... and the article in the issue of Men's Health that I was reading about various types of restaurants. I figure the first proper meal I have eating out is going to be Japanese ... especially now I want to have some yakitori and beef teriyaki, or some stuff from the sushi train I usually go to.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Master cleanse day two
Parents didn't seem too happy that I was swearing off all solid food for several weeks.
My dad confronted me this morning and yelled for a bit about how I'd get a stomach ulcer and all this other doom and gloom crap. I know what I'm getting into. He asked me why I was doing it, I didn't answer because I know that he wouldn't understand. Parents are trying to get me to eat solid foods. I figure I can lie to them for the duration of the cleanse, and claim I had something before.
I found it really hard to drink the salt water drink, and could only manage about 600ml or so before I had to stop. I figure that it's time that I have a few cups of senna tea in the morning instead, although I will try to drink down at least 500ml of that vile salt water stuff, because it is effective in flushing out the bowels.
More of the same symptoms today, mostly a headache, and tiredness. Noticeably, I wasn't cold today. More the tiredness, resulting in my taking a nap today, which was nice, even if it was only for half an hour. The headache was a bit more noticeable than yesterday, and I was told by my brother that I had really bad breath. Hopefully tomorrow I'll wake up feeling a lot better. Today, it seemed like what was coming out of my ass was just pure fat. Virtually nothing bigger than a grain of salt came out, most of it was just liquid fat that was slushing out.
My dad confronted me this morning and yelled for a bit about how I'd get a stomach ulcer and all this other doom and gloom crap. I know what I'm getting into. He asked me why I was doing it, I didn't answer because I know that he wouldn't understand. Parents are trying to get me to eat solid foods. I figure I can lie to them for the duration of the cleanse, and claim I had something before.
I found it really hard to drink the salt water drink, and could only manage about 600ml or so before I had to stop. I figure that it's time that I have a few cups of senna tea in the morning instead, although I will try to drink down at least 500ml of that vile salt water stuff, because it is effective in flushing out the bowels.
More of the same symptoms today, mostly a headache, and tiredness. Noticeably, I wasn't cold today. More the tiredness, resulting in my taking a nap today, which was nice, even if it was only for half an hour. The headache was a bit more noticeable than yesterday, and I was told by my brother that I had really bad breath. Hopefully tomorrow I'll wake up feeling a lot better. Today, it seemed like what was coming out of my ass was just pure fat. Virtually nothing bigger than a grain of salt came out, most of it was just liquid fat that was slushing out.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Master cleanse day one
Day one.
It started off with me trying to make the litre or so of salt water that I was supposed to drink. It reminded me again why I haven't been swimming in the ocean for several years now. Stuff is potent, I'll have to give it that, when it comes to evacuating bowels.
About half an hour to forty minutes after drinking the stuff, I dashed to the toilet, and then it felt like my large intestines seemed to empty themselves of all waste and anything mobile in my digestive tract. Flushing one's bowels indeed. I didn't think that it was physically possible for the body to actually turn the asshole into a garden hose. Towards the end of my 'bowel-flushing' it felt more like someone was playing with a tap connected to my asshole and whenever it would go off, it would feel like there was a geyser of liquid gushing out. Not a pretty image.
The drink was all right, although I'll have to be careful to wash the cayenne powder off my fingers before putting them anywhere near my eyes. Most of today I actually didn't really feel that hungry, despite the fact I was only drinking the lemon-syrup-cayenne concoction. Every so often, I'd have a glass or two, and that kept me nice and fuelled. I mostly felt cold, tired (almost nodding off at points), and had a slight headache. And ended up spending the day bumming around at home.
The upside of this is that I managed to get some stuff done that I had been meaning to get around to. I was secretary for the last toastmaster meeting, so I typed up the minutes, and then did the accounting homework that I had been waiting on all week to do but never could before.
I've been doing some thinking. I have made little progress on my book, despite the fact that by now on my timeline I should have been fleshing out the characters after filling out the history and the world. I'm spending too little time on it. This is supposed to be my focus for the year!
What I will do starting this week is definitely find a time to devote myself to writing for the book, so at least an hour a day. After a week, that's seven hours of work in. Seven hours is a lot of material. Two weeks is 14 hours. A helluva lot of material.
It started off with me trying to make the litre or so of salt water that I was supposed to drink. It reminded me again why I haven't been swimming in the ocean for several years now. Stuff is potent, I'll have to give it that, when it comes to evacuating bowels.
About half an hour to forty minutes after drinking the stuff, I dashed to the toilet, and then it felt like my large intestines seemed to empty themselves of all waste and anything mobile in my digestive tract. Flushing one's bowels indeed. I didn't think that it was physically possible for the body to actually turn the asshole into a garden hose. Towards the end of my 'bowel-flushing' it felt more like someone was playing with a tap connected to my asshole and whenever it would go off, it would feel like there was a geyser of liquid gushing out. Not a pretty image.
The drink was all right, although I'll have to be careful to wash the cayenne powder off my fingers before putting them anywhere near my eyes. Most of today I actually didn't really feel that hungry, despite the fact I was only drinking the lemon-syrup-cayenne concoction. Every so often, I'd have a glass or two, and that kept me nice and fuelled. I mostly felt cold, tired (almost nodding off at points), and had a slight headache. And ended up spending the day bumming around at home.
The upside of this is that I managed to get some stuff done that I had been meaning to get around to. I was secretary for the last toastmaster meeting, so I typed up the minutes, and then did the accounting homework that I had been waiting on all week to do but never could before.
I've been doing some thinking. I have made little progress on my book, despite the fact that by now on my timeline I should have been fleshing out the characters after filling out the history and the world. I'm spending too little time on it. This is supposed to be my focus for the year!
What I will do starting this week is definitely find a time to devote myself to writing for the book, so at least an hour a day. After a week, that's seven hours of work in. Seven hours is a lot of material. Two weeks is 14 hours. A helluva lot of material.
The master cleanse
Having finished the 12 week regime that promised a 'Tyler Durden' like abs, I fell short, but it was productive. I've got new eating habits now (exclusively eat things only listed in my little orange bible), and I'm thinner than I was 12 weeks ago. I put on a kilo in the last week, but I figure that's due to me relaxing my guard because it was the last week and I wanted to 'celebrate.'
In any case, I've decided that I'm going to embark on a cleanse, to really get my body functioning better.
It'll be interesting to see how things go.
I'm 75kg at the moment, cleanse t-minus 7 hours.
In any case, I've decided that I'm going to embark on a cleanse, to really get my body functioning better.
It'll be interesting to see how things go.
I'm 75kg at the moment, cleanse t-minus 7 hours.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
New Year 08
A bit late, but whatever.
Happy New Year 2008!!!
We've ended yet another year of the Noughties, and moving ever closer to that magical 2010, when we get back into the Teenies - haha, it sounds less like a name for a decade and more like a children's entertainment group.
Well, 2007, a year in focus ...
It's been an incredibly tumultuous and eventful year.
February, the big scandal hit - my dad was having an affair, and it all came out when my mum found dubious text messages on his phone. It's a pity really, my mum came home all distressed, torn up and in tears. My dad ended up being distant while he was in Vietnam, trying to have fun but not being able to because of the situation.
I had a taste of independence, what life would be like with no parents around. That lasted two days. Those two days were glorious.
The first semester was average, not great, but average. Some pretty bad things happened that I feel really turned me off what I was studying at the moment.
The first was a really bad day in the lab - I couldn't seem to get a properly forming gel, and was really falling behind everyone else. I ended up behind everyone else the whole semester. The absolute frustration of having the gel not forming properly, not to mention getting zero on both that prac and the following one, is something that really grated on my mind. If there are times like that, where its just failure after failure and you can't figure out WHY, then I feel it's like hitting your head against a brick wall.
I had another really bad day the first day of the semester break. I thought the test we had was on at 2pm, not 1pm. And as a result, I came in an hour late, and as a result, I get a crap mark (I had no idea what to do anyways -_-), and the lecturer ends up hating me for the rest of the year.
I was in a car accident - a mild one at that, but it imprinted into me how quickly the situation can change. I was turning onto West Lakes Boulevard in extreme rain, and then my car loses control and I end up fishtailing and another car gets too close and bumps into the back of my Skyline. It was a sobering, sobering reminder of how dangerous the roads can be if not taken seriously.
Exams were a ... mixed bag. I swear, my fingers were numb and bleeding by the time those exams finished, especially after I wasn't at first ready to deal with the traffic, and ended up chucking a sickie and getting the first exam deferred, and getting passable marks for the rest of the subjects. I never thought that I'd be able to write so much.
Second semester ... At some points, it just fell apart. At other points, it was great. I ended up making the other lecturers dislike me, because I seemed to have become chronically late to lectures, or skip them if I felt like it. By this time, I had little motivation left in class, and I hated it. I wasn't part of any particular clique, and I didn't particularly feel like looking like a tryhard like I had done the previous year following one clique around in the hope of getting accepted into that clique. It made it a lot harder in the prac labs when everyone's joking around while waiting for their gel to run/PCR to finish, and I'm sitting there doing shit-all but writing in my prac book. It was barely bearable.
With all the bad shit out of the way, let's look at the good bits.
I've been seriously working on my body this year, and I feel it is showing somewhat. After undertaking the endeavour of getting myself strong enough for the 300 challenge (which I didn't do), I ended up coasting and doing other stuff, before I finally decided to fully dedicate myself 100% to changing my image to someone more slim and better-looking. I've cleaned up my diet and know that I have established better eating habits. I'm a lot thinner than I was last year, and a lot more healthy and fit.
I've done a lot of cool stuff this year.
I joined a Toastmasters club in February, and I've given four speeches so far. I am loving Toastmasters, which surprised me. Especially when I get up to speak, it's an amazing feeling. That mixture of nervousness, anxiety, and concentration in the moment, and the great feeling of relaxing afterwards when you sit back down, it's the best.
I've taken salsa dancing classes. I always considered myself something of a dancer, and now I have a great way to express my feelings through dance. Even though I've only got the basics down at the moment, and have a rather limited repertoire, I intend to continue with lessons in 2008 and advance my dancing skills.
I've also recently joined a krav maga dojo, and learning more about combative martial arts, to protect myself and give me the confidence not to back down when I'm faced with an adverse situation.
I lost my virginity this year - something that should have happened sooner, but I'm glad it happened now instead of when I am something like 40. Noone wants to be a 40-year-old virgin. Sex is nothing like what I expected it would be. The sensation of sex is a lot different from what I'd imagined. A lot more ... primitive and base.
I did manage to have something of a relationship (although it was hard how to class it - at the same time casual and romantic). It was nice being in a relationship, having someone I could project my feelings onto, and who would return those feelings. It was also nice to actually be able to go out on dates (yes, dorky, I know), and take someone out just to have some fun together. I'd like to do that a lot more in 2008. Unfortunately, we broke up - it wasn't working, so I called it off.
Looking back at my goals:
For 2007, they were
1) Get straight Distinctions for all my subjects. This I will strive towards with all of my power.
2) Save up $10,000 for the J-Trip to Japan that I plan to go on at the end of the year. I have already managed to enlist a couple of travelling companions, so all that is to be done now is find more and get the cheapest prices we can.
3) Get my weight down from 81kg down to 70-71kg. By the end of the year, I want to have sculpted a body that I'm immensely proud of - a visible six-pack, well-toned arms, legs and upper body, and a rock-stable core.
4) Get myself a girlfriend. Although I haven't seen The 40 Year-Old Virgin, I certainly don't want to end up with a title like that. As well as that, I really want the female company. I want a woman who will stand behind me, and support me as we move on through this adventurous voyage that is called Life.
Well, with 2007 gone, let's look at them in hindsite.
1) Get straight distinctions.
I failed to achieve this one horribly. I had the drive in the beginning, but the toxic class atmosphere, not to mention the really bad days described above really put me off, and killed off most motivation for me to get through. Pending the results of a supplementary exam, I will be out of university and into the real world, where academic grades don't mean squat.
2) Save up $10,000 for the J-Trip to Japan that I plan to go on at the end of the year
With end-of-year arrangements with friends falling through and financial problems (apparently I don't get my tax money back until the end of the year, so I couldn't buy tickets), I ended up not going to Japan, and instead sitting back here. On the other hand, my parents did end up paying off my credit card debt for me, so I am now officially free of credit card debt. Which goes some way I suppose - they paid off almost $6000 of credit card debt, so I suppose I should be somewhat thankful. But I need to clean up my spending habits and try to be less of an impulse spender.
3) Get my weight down from 81kg down to 70-71kg
Well, I'm certainly not at the estimated 71kg, but I'm getting there. All year I've been hovering between 81-79kg, unable to move below 79kg. It was like I'd hit a wall. But I finally managed to achieve it, penetrating the 79kg barrier and hitting a personal best of 77kg. I gained a couple of kilos in the last couple of weeks due to the horrible (health-wise) food I ended up having to eat over the Christmas holidays - something which I resented greatly. However, I know that I can work that off easily. 2008 is looking very good - a year of image change since I have my diet all set now.
4) Get myself a girlfriend
This one, happily, I did fulfil. I did have a somewhat stable relationship for about 5-6 months this year, from July to November. I also had several other possible girls, but unfortunately, I couldn't follow up with those. I did get results! I'm very glad that I did fulfil this goal. I had something approaching a girlfriend, we'd go out and do stuff together, it was fun. In 2008 I hope to have a lot more fun romantically.
All up, a semi-successful year, I'd suppose. I fulfilled one of the goals, I managed some progress to the other two goals as well.
For 2008, I have some goals in mind that I want to accomplish:
1) Write a book
I want to become an established writer. What's the best way to that? Write a book and get published. I can work and do that on the side, in my spare time. It is achievable, I have to draw up a project plan and deadlines to work to.
2) Lose weight, and get down to 10% body fat
In my studies over the past year on weight loss, I've found that it's better to focus on fat content rather than overall body weight, since once I cut down slim enough, I'll be putting weight back on - as muscle. This year will be a year of change and growth.
3) Become a better man
I want to develop myself in as many ways as possible. In the area of personal excellence, in the area of romance and dating, in the area of martial prowess, in the area of public speaking. I want to become a better overall person. As I become a better man, my energy will rise and rise, until I am like a sun in the darkness of ordinary life. I will shine, I will become a light in the darkness of the drudgery of normal life.
Happy New Year 2008!!!
We've ended yet another year of the Noughties, and moving ever closer to that magical 2010, when we get back into the Teenies - haha, it sounds less like a name for a decade and more like a children's entertainment group.
Well, 2007, a year in focus ...
It's been an incredibly tumultuous and eventful year.
February, the big scandal hit - my dad was having an affair, and it all came out when my mum found dubious text messages on his phone. It's a pity really, my mum came home all distressed, torn up and in tears. My dad ended up being distant while he was in Vietnam, trying to have fun but not being able to because of the situation.
I had a taste of independence, what life would be like with no parents around. That lasted two days. Those two days were glorious.
The first semester was average, not great, but average. Some pretty bad things happened that I feel really turned me off what I was studying at the moment.
The first was a really bad day in the lab - I couldn't seem to get a properly forming gel, and was really falling behind everyone else. I ended up behind everyone else the whole semester. The absolute frustration of having the gel not forming properly, not to mention getting zero on both that prac and the following one, is something that really grated on my mind. If there are times like that, where its just failure after failure and you can't figure out WHY, then I feel it's like hitting your head against a brick wall.
I had another really bad day the first day of the semester break. I thought the test we had was on at 2pm, not 1pm. And as a result, I came in an hour late, and as a result, I get a crap mark (I had no idea what to do anyways -_-), and the lecturer ends up hating me for the rest of the year.
I was in a car accident - a mild one at that, but it imprinted into me how quickly the situation can change. I was turning onto West Lakes Boulevard in extreme rain, and then my car loses control and I end up fishtailing and another car gets too close and bumps into the back of my Skyline. It was a sobering, sobering reminder of how dangerous the roads can be if not taken seriously.
Exams were a ... mixed bag. I swear, my fingers were numb and bleeding by the time those exams finished, especially after I wasn't at first ready to deal with the traffic, and ended up chucking a sickie and getting the first exam deferred, and getting passable marks for the rest of the subjects. I never thought that I'd be able to write so much.
Second semester ... At some points, it just fell apart. At other points, it was great. I ended up making the other lecturers dislike me, because I seemed to have become chronically late to lectures, or skip them if I felt like it. By this time, I had little motivation left in class, and I hated it. I wasn't part of any particular clique, and I didn't particularly feel like looking like a tryhard like I had done the previous year following one clique around in the hope of getting accepted into that clique. It made it a lot harder in the prac labs when everyone's joking around while waiting for their gel to run/PCR to finish, and I'm sitting there doing shit-all but writing in my prac book. It was barely bearable.
With all the bad shit out of the way, let's look at the good bits.
I've been seriously working on my body this year, and I feel it is showing somewhat. After undertaking the endeavour of getting myself strong enough for the 300 challenge (which I didn't do), I ended up coasting and doing other stuff, before I finally decided to fully dedicate myself 100% to changing my image to someone more slim and better-looking. I've cleaned up my diet and know that I have established better eating habits. I'm a lot thinner than I was last year, and a lot more healthy and fit.
I've done a lot of cool stuff this year.
I joined a Toastmasters club in February, and I've given four speeches so far. I am loving Toastmasters, which surprised me. Especially when I get up to speak, it's an amazing feeling. That mixture of nervousness, anxiety, and concentration in the moment, and the great feeling of relaxing afterwards when you sit back down, it's the best.
I've taken salsa dancing classes. I always considered myself something of a dancer, and now I have a great way to express my feelings through dance. Even though I've only got the basics down at the moment, and have a rather limited repertoire, I intend to continue with lessons in 2008 and advance my dancing skills.
I've also recently joined a krav maga dojo, and learning more about combative martial arts, to protect myself and give me the confidence not to back down when I'm faced with an adverse situation.
I lost my virginity this year - something that should have happened sooner, but I'm glad it happened now instead of when I am something like 40. Noone wants to be a 40-year-old virgin. Sex is nothing like what I expected it would be. The sensation of sex is a lot different from what I'd imagined. A lot more ... primitive and base.
I did manage to have something of a relationship (although it was hard how to class it - at the same time casual and romantic). It was nice being in a relationship, having someone I could project my feelings onto, and who would return those feelings. It was also nice to actually be able to go out on dates (yes, dorky, I know), and take someone out just to have some fun together. I'd like to do that a lot more in 2008. Unfortunately, we broke up - it wasn't working, so I called it off.
Looking back at my goals:
For 2007, they were
1) Get straight Distinctions for all my subjects. This I will strive towards with all of my power.
2) Save up $10,000 for the J-Trip to Japan that I plan to go on at the end of the year. I have already managed to enlist a couple of travelling companions, so all that is to be done now is find more and get the cheapest prices we can.
3) Get my weight down from 81kg down to 70-71kg. By the end of the year, I want to have sculpted a body that I'm immensely proud of - a visible six-pack, well-toned arms, legs and upper body, and a rock-stable core.
4) Get myself a girlfriend. Although I haven't seen The 40 Year-Old Virgin, I certainly don't want to end up with a title like that. As well as that, I really want the female company. I want a woman who will stand behind me, and support me as we move on through this adventurous voyage that is called Life.
Well, with 2007 gone, let's look at them in hindsite.
1) Get straight distinctions.
I failed to achieve this one horribly. I had the drive in the beginning, but the toxic class atmosphere, not to mention the really bad days described above really put me off, and killed off most motivation for me to get through. Pending the results of a supplementary exam, I will be out of university and into the real world, where academic grades don't mean squat.
2) Save up $10,000 for the J-Trip to Japan that I plan to go on at the end of the year
With end-of-year arrangements with friends falling through and financial problems (apparently I don't get my tax money back until the end of the year, so I couldn't buy tickets), I ended up not going to Japan, and instead sitting back here. On the other hand, my parents did end up paying off my credit card debt for me, so I am now officially free of credit card debt. Which goes some way I suppose - they paid off almost $6000 of credit card debt, so I suppose I should be somewhat thankful. But I need to clean up my spending habits and try to be less of an impulse spender.
3) Get my weight down from 81kg down to 70-71kg
Well, I'm certainly not at the estimated 71kg, but I'm getting there. All year I've been hovering between 81-79kg, unable to move below 79kg. It was like I'd hit a wall. But I finally managed to achieve it, penetrating the 79kg barrier and hitting a personal best of 77kg. I gained a couple of kilos in the last couple of weeks due to the horrible (health-wise) food I ended up having to eat over the Christmas holidays - something which I resented greatly. However, I know that I can work that off easily. 2008 is looking very good - a year of image change since I have my diet all set now.
4) Get myself a girlfriend
This one, happily, I did fulfil. I did have a somewhat stable relationship for about 5-6 months this year, from July to November. I also had several other possible girls, but unfortunately, I couldn't follow up with those. I did get results! I'm very glad that I did fulfil this goal. I had something approaching a girlfriend, we'd go out and do stuff together, it was fun. In 2008 I hope to have a lot more fun romantically.
All up, a semi-successful year, I'd suppose. I fulfilled one of the goals, I managed some progress to the other two goals as well.
For 2008, I have some goals in mind that I want to accomplish:
1) Write a book
I want to become an established writer. What's the best way to that? Write a book and get published. I can work and do that on the side, in my spare time. It is achievable, I have to draw up a project plan and deadlines to work to.
2) Lose weight, and get down to 10% body fat
In my studies over the past year on weight loss, I've found that it's better to focus on fat content rather than overall body weight, since once I cut down slim enough, I'll be putting weight back on - as muscle. This year will be a year of change and growth.
3) Become a better man
I want to develop myself in as many ways as possible. In the area of personal excellence, in the area of romance and dating, in the area of martial prowess, in the area of public speaking. I want to become a better overall person. As I become a better man, my energy will rise and rise, until I am like a sun in the darkness of ordinary life. I will shine, I will become a light in the darkness of the drudgery of normal life.
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