Low point

Not to get all emo or anything, but I really think I've had a nasty few days.

One test (of which there was almost NO way to study for - asshole of a lecturer claims that if you understand the material you can do the problems) earlier this week, I found out I got crap marks. I have to write an essay under exam conditions, for marks, and I'm shitting myself because I didn't have as long as I wanted to study. Again, asshole of a lecturer claimed that we needed only one week. Did she take into account that we'd have other stuff on too?! I'm just glad I didn't have to worry about a third test as I don't do Microbiology (passed it last year).

On top of that, I get a new haircut yesterday, and in a new style. I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about it, and what's the first thing my dad does when he sees me? Laugh at me and ridicule me. Not to mention acting like the gel somehow is seeping into my brain and altering my personality. He claims he liked the old one better. Claimed I looked more "intellectual." Translation: Nerd. I don't consider myself a nerd - I'm not smart enough. I consider myself a geek, yes - I like to drool over new electronic toys, I like tech in general, and geeky pursuits such as anime - although I might have to get back to you on that one since anime's becoming more mainstream.

And above all this, Forbidden Fruit continues to unconsciously send mixed signals - she asks me to take her out, and when I do, she's "busy" that night. She comes to sit next to me, and then for some reason decides to sit one row down. Gahh, I just feel like screaming and letting it all out. She's so close to me and within reach - yet I can't touch her. I'm beginning to wonder what divine entity I angered to give me such a Tantalus-like torture. I think I saw her boyfriend recently - nothing special - he's short, fat (read: round as a ball), wears glasses, and has a hairstyle like my old one. In other words - the archetypical otaku-DotA head. She seems to harbour a dislike of DotA, probably because it means her boyfriend can't take her out at night. I wonder whether it's still worth it to try and fill in the void, and get her to leave him and come with me - or is it me simply overestimating myself and taking the asshole route?

Well, my cousin's 18th birthday is coming up, so I can get wasted and drink my problems away ... until I wake up with a splitting hangover the next day.